{"title":"Woody","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"zombies-the-only-men-that-love-you-for-your-brains","title":"Zombies... The Only Men That Love You For Your Brains Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003eZombies... The Only Men That Love You For Your Brains\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScent: Dark Agarwood + Strawberry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDating in this era? A post-apocalyptic nightmare. Romance is rotting faster than a walker in the sun, and frankly? At least zombies are upfront about what they want. They won’t breadcrumb you, send mixed signals, or ask what your “top five icks” are. They just lurch straight toward your cranium like true gentlemen—no games, no lies, just clingy, loyal, and fully committed to one thing—your brains. Finally, someone who actually wants what’s in your head, and not what's in your knickers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003eInfused with dark agarwood, bloody strawberry and a hint of “at least he’s not texting his ex,” this candle is the romantic reset button you never asked for... either that or at least settling for something that doesn’t talk back. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for nights when you're wondering if the walking dead would treat you better than the emotionally unavailable living.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eZombies... The Only Men That Love You For Your Brain - Pro Tip\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003eGreat for date nights alone, surrounded by red wine, bad decisions, and the growing suspicion that Scott from Hinge actually has less personality than a reanimated corpse\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWarning\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMay attract flesh-eaters, exes, or that one guy who still thinks “u up?” is a catchy text. Burn with caution.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Astrollogy Candles","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54039537811803,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/9783\/0491\/files\/NewBackgrounds_21.png?v=1789245470"},{"product_id":"you-have-more-split-personalities-than-jekyll-hyde-candle","title":"You Have More Split Personalities Than Jekyll \u0026 Hyde Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003eYou Have More Split Personalities Than Jekyll \u0026amp; Hyde\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScent: Aged Oak + Rich Sandalwood\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen talking to them is like playing psychological roulette. One minute it’s tea and pleasantries, the next it’s chaos and carnage, before breakfast, after lunch, and twice on Sundays. If you’ve ever had a conversation that felt like a plot twist in a Victorian horror novel, this candle’s for you. Inspired by the mental rollercoaster that is dealing with 20 split personalities, it's basically the ultimate aromatherapy for surviving the crapshow.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWith a blend of rich sandalwood, aged oak and a hint of “who do we have today?!”, this scent captures the chaos of a walking identity crisis. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for moments when you need to remind yourself that you’re not the unhinged one—they just need a serious exorcism (or to at least come with a user manual for each personality)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eYou Have More Split Personalities Than Jekyll \u0026amp; Hyde - Pro Tip\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLight it before interacting with anyone who starts the day off as Jekyll and ends up full-blown Hyde by lunch. It won’t fix them - but it will make your space smell too good to care\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWarning\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMay cause sudden clarity, an urgent need for boundaries, and the realisation that not everyone deserves a seat at your table. Especially not the ones who bring all 12 of their personalities along with them\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Astrollogy Candles","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54039596368219,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/9783\/0491\/files\/NewBackgrounds_22.png?v=1789246329"},{"product_id":"some-people-just-suck-the-nice-right-out-of-you-candle","title":"Some People Just Suck The Nice Right Out Of You Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003eSome People Just Suck The Nice Right Out Of You\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScent: Smoky Sandalwood + Raspberry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003eYou tried. You smiled. You were polite. And still - someone came along and emotionally drained you like a budget Dracula in a toxic situationship.\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"mark0vnf917bc uM2yb\"\u003eCongrats\u003c\/span\u003e, you're now one bad conversation away from rising out of your crypt and hissing at anyone who breathes near you.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInfused with notes of smoky sandalwood, seductive raspberry and a hint of “bite me”, this candle is for the undead sass queen within. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for recharging your dark soul after another encounter with energy-sucking mortals.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSome People Just Suck The Nice Right Out Of You - Pro Tip\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLight this when you're one petty comment away from snapping your fangs and writing people out of your afterlife.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWarning\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMay cause spontaneous cloaking in velvet, high standards, and the urge to only associate with creatures of the night. Crosses, garlic and bad vibes not welcome.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Astrollogy Candles","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54040058331483,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/9783\/0491\/files\/NewBackgrounds_25.png?v=1789248746"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/9783\/0491\/collections\/FRUITY_5.png?v=1786658912","url":"https:\/\/astrollogycandles.co.uk\/collections\/woody.oembed","provider":"Astrollogy Candles","version":"1.0","type":"link"}