{"product_id":"dickheads-should-stop-testing-my-fucking-zen-candle-copy","title":"I Want To Be There When Karma Dry Fucks Your Arse With A Cactus Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI Want To Be There When Karma Dry Fucks Your Arse With A Cactus Candle\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eScent: Saguaro Cactus + Sea Salt\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSometimes you don’t need revenge - you just need front-row seats to watch karma handle things in ways you never could. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis candle burns with the fiery satisfaction of knowing that the universe always settles its accounts. It's the perfect blend of zen vibes and unapologetic schadenfreude, with bold notes of cucumber, sea salt, and a hint of petty revenge. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it's crafted for those who know that sometimes karma doesn’t need your help -it just needs an audience\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI Want To Be There When Karma Dry Fucks Your Arse With A Cactus Candle - Pro Tip\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLight this candle while practicing patience. Karma takes time, but when it arrives, it’s worth every second of the wait. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBonus: it pairs well with a smug smile whilst watching the universe serve up a hot plate of consequences. Add popcorn for full effect\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWarning\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis candle may cause uncontrollable laughter and excessive satisfaction when karma finally delivers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eKeep away from fragile egos, gaslighters, and anyone who says, “What goes around doesn’t come around” or thinks they’re above universal laws\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ASTROLLOGY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48191260328283,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/9783\/0491\/files\/I_Want_To_Be_There_When_Karma_Dry_Fucks_Your_Arse_With_A_Cactus_Candle.png?v=1770822223","url":"https:\/\/astrollogycandles.co.uk\/products\/dickheads-should-stop-testing-my-fucking-zen-candle-copy","provider":"Astrollogy Candles","version":"1.0","type":"link"}