{"product_id":"i-give-my-job-the-same-energy-it-gives-me-absolutely-fucking-none-candle","title":"I Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003eI Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScent: Black Pomegranate + Plum\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eSome people wake up excited for work. You wake up wondering how a single job managed to suck this much life out of a human being. Every day is the same soul-draining cycle of endless emails, pointless meetings and pretending you give even half a shit about the company's “vision”. You don’t hate working… you just hate this job, these emails, these meetings and your boss asking if you’ve got “five minutes” like they aren't about to steal the last remaining fragment of your will to live.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWith dark, juicy notes of black pomegranate, rich ripe plum and a hint of “I’m not paid enough for this shit,” it’s bold, indulgent and far more satisfying than doing the absolute bare minimum required to remain technically employed, while protecting your last surviving brain cell from the shit show circus. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for lighting while you stare at your screen, wondering how one inbox can contain so much bullshit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eI Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None - Pro Tip\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLight this before your next meeting and practice the ancient corporate survival skills: nodding occasionally, saying “good point” and contributing absolutely nothing of value -just like the meeting itself. Stretch that lunch break, mute that meeting and preserve what little soul this place hasn’t already devoured.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWarning\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMay cause extreme disinterest in “team-building,” excessive clock-watching and the sudden urge to close your laptop the second it hits 5pm. Side effects include protecting your last remaining shred of soul, advanced levels of workplace detachment and giving the job exactly the same energy it gives you - absolutely fucking none.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Astrollogy Candles","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53777420222811,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/9783\/0491\/files\/Astrollogy5.png?v=1786656820","url":"https:\/\/astrollogycandles.co.uk\/products\/i-give-my-job-the-same-energy-it-gives-me-absolutely-fucking-none-candle","provider":"Astrollogy Candles","version":"1.0","type":"link"}