{"product_id":"may-his-teeth-fall-out-when-he-smiles-at-other-bitches","title":"May His Teeth Fall Out When He Smiles At Other Bitches Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003eMay His Teeth Fall Out When He Smiles At Other Bitches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScent: Nectarine Blossom + Strawberry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eI'm not saying be jealous... I'm just saying \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eif he’s out there flashing that smile at women he has absolutely no business smiling at, then a small, deeply satisfying part of you still hopes the universe restores order in the pettiest form -\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e hoping karma clocks in for overtime. May his flirting flop, his chat dry up, and may that smug little smile lose a few fucking teeth along the way. If he's going to act like he's God's gift to women, he can do it while sipping soup through a straw.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eScented with juicy nectarine blossom, sweet strawberry, and a hint of \"fuck around and find out\" this candle is equal parts sweet, petty, and delightfully vindictive. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it's perfect for embracing your inner menace without having to lift a perfectly manicured finger yet \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ealso fully capable of wishing minor dental disasters upon disloyal men.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMay His Teeth Fall Out When He Smiles At Other Bitches - Pro Tip\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLight this whenever he starts acting like loyalty is a suggestion instead of the bare fucking minimum. Then sit back and let the universe handle the rest.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWarning\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMay result in uncontrollable pettiness, suspiciously timed dental emergencies, and the overwhelming belief that the universe has an exceptional sense of humour when it comes to karma and comedic timing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Astrollogy Candles","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53777355309403,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/9783\/0491\/files\/NewBackgrounds_11.png?v=1786655419","url":"https:\/\/astrollogycandles.co.uk\/products\/may-his-teeth-fall-out-when-he-smiles-at-other-bitches","provider":"Astrollogy Candles","version":"1.0","type":"link"}