{"product_id":"the-desire-to-build-a-man-from-scratch-because-the-dating-pool-is-fucking-horrific-candle","title":"The Desire To Build A Man From Scratch Because The Dating Pool Is Fucking Horrific Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Desire To Build A Man From Scratch Because The Dating Pool Is Fucking Horrific\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScent: Sticky Toffee Apple\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDating these days? A horror shit-show. Between the red flags, ghosting, and emotionally unavailable man-children, it's no wonder you're eyeing up a thunderstorm and some spare limbs like a DIY project. This candle is for the hopeless romantic who's one bad Hinge date away from going full Frankenstein.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003eWith electrifying notes of soured apple, sticky toffee and a hint of “stitched together standards,” it brings monstrous charm and zero emotional baggage. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for lighting while drafting blueprints for the perfect man - tall, dark and ... silent. (Or at least one that doesn’t mansplain!)\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eThe Desire To Build A Man From Scratch Because The Dating Pool Is Fucking Horrific - Pro Tip\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBest enjoyed while muttering “I can fix him… literally.” Lab coat optional, sarcasm required. It’s perfect for long nights in the lab plotting how to replace men with something... functional.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWarning\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMay spark the urge to yell “IT’S ALIVE” every time a delayed text message arrives. Can cause side effects such as raging independence, unrealistic standards (as they should be) and a renewed appreciation for fictional monsters over real-life ones. Use caution near lightning and emotionally unavailable weirdos.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Astrollogy Candles","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54040084447579,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/9783\/0491\/files\/NewBackgrounds_26.png?v=1789249339","url":"https:\/\/astrollogycandles.co.uk\/products\/the-desire-to-build-a-man-from-scratch-because-the-dating-pool-is-fucking-horrific-candle","provider":"Astrollogy Candles","version":"1.0","type":"link"}