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Front Row Tickets To The Abysmal Shitshow That's Life
Front Row Tickets To The Abysmal Shitshow That's Life
Regular price
£10.50 GBP
Regular price
Sale price
£10.50 GBP
Taxes included.
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Front Row Tickets To The Abysmal Shitshow That's Life
Scent: Buttered Toffee Popcorn
Congratulations! You've been upgraded to front row for the longest-running fucking disaster known to humanity: your own life. Tonight's performance includes questionable decisions, unexpected bills, emotional damage, people behaving like absolute cunts, and at least one plot twist nobody fucking asked for. The best part? You're both the audience and the fucking cast.
Scented with buttery toffee, freshly popped popcorn and a hint of “well, this is going to be fucking interesting,” this candle is the perfect popcorn-filled soundtrack to life's ongoing catastrophe and infinitely more enjoyable than whatever fresh bullshit life has decided to throw at you today. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for sitting back, lighting the fuse and watching the shit show unfold from the best seat in the house.
Front Row Tickets To The Abysmal Shitshow That's Life - Pro Tip
When life starts falling apart, don't panic. Grab the popcorn, light this candle and remember: at least you're getting a fucking front-row view.
Warning
May cause inappropriate laughter during personal crises, dangerously high levels of sarcasm and the sudden realisation that your life has enough plot twists to qualify for it's own series on Netflix.
Coconut + Soy Wax
Coconut + Soy Wax
Our candles are made with a premium blend of coconut and soy wax because paraffin is officially cancelled. We’re not here for toxic fumes, shady ingredients, or any candle red flags — just a cleaner burn, longer life, and vibes that won’t try to assassinate your sinuses
Vegan
Vegan
Plant-based from wick to wax, our candles are vegan because we believe peace, love, and not stealing ingredients from animals is kind of the bare minimum
Cruelty-Free
Cruelty-Free
Cruelty-free and conscience-approved, we don't use any ingredients tested on animals so that you can enjoy your candles totally guilt-free
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