I Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None Candle

Name: I Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None Candle
Brand: Astrollogy Candles
Price: 10.50 GBP
Availability: InStock

£10.50 GBP

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I Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None

Scent: Black Pomegranate + Plum

Some people wake up excited for work. You wake up wondering how a single job managed to suck this much life out of a human being. Every day is the same soul-draining cycle of endless emails, pointless meetings and pretending you give even half a shit about the company's “vision”. You don’t hate working… you just hate this job, these emails, these meetings and your boss asking if you’ve got “five minutes” like they aren't about to steal the last remaining fragment of your will to live.

With dark, juicy notes of black pomegranate, rich ripe plum and a hint of “I’m not paid enough for this shit,” it’s bold, indulgent and far more satisfying than doing the absolute bare minimum required to remain technically employed, while protecting your last surviving brain cell from the shit show circus. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for lighting while you stare at your screen, wondering how one inbox can contain so much bullshit.

I Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None - Pro Tip

Light this before your next meeting and practice the ancient corporate survival skills: nodding occasionally, saying “good point” and contributing absolutely nothing of value -just like the meeting itself. Stretch that lunch break, mute that meeting and preserve what little soul this place hasn’t already devoured.

Warning

May cause extreme disinterest in “team-building,” excessive clock-watching and the sudden urge to close your laptop the second it hits 5pm. Side effects include protecting your last remaining shred of soul, advanced levels of workplace detachment and giving the job exactly the same energy it gives you - absolutely fucking none.

Coconut + Soy Wax

Our candles are made with a premium blend of coconut and soy wax because paraffin is officially cancelled. We’re not here for toxic fumes, shady ingredients, or any candle red flags — just a cleaner burn, longer life, and vibes that won’t try to assassinate your sinuses

Vegan

Plant-based from wick to wax, our candles are vegan because we believe peace, love, and not stealing ingredients from animals is kind of the bare minimum

Cruelty-Free

Cruelty-free and conscience-approved, we don't use any ingredients tested on animals so that you can enjoy your candles totally guilt-free

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Product	Product subtotal	Quantity	Price	Product subtotal
I Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None Candle	I Give My Job The Same Energy It Gives Me... Absolutely Fucking None Candle £10.50/ea	£0.00	Quantity	£10.50/ea	£0.00