Men Are Like A Box Of Assorted Chocolates... Half Of Them Are A Weird Flavour Nobody Asked For Candle

Men Are Like A Box Of Assorted Chocolates... Half Of Them  Are A Weird Flavour Nobody Asked For

Scent: Rich Velvet Chocolate + Fudge

To open the box with hope. Optimism. Maybe even 100% delusion. You go in thinking “oooh, luxury.” Five minutes later you’re chewing something suspiciously banana-centred, questioning your life choices and wondering why you didn’t just buy the safe option to begin with. This candle is for the brave souls still sampling their selection of men, knowing full well at least half of them taste like regret. 

With rich notes of velvet chocolate, decadent fudge, and a hint of “unexpected filling you definitely didn’t consent to,” it smells indulgent, comforting, and far more satisfying than your last situationship. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for lighting when you realise they were never the premium selection and always the clearance aisle assortment - cheap, discounted and days away from being expired. 

Men Are Like A Box Of Assorted Chocolates... Half Of Them Are A Weird Flavour Nobody Asked For - Pro Tip

If he starts describing himself as “complex,” assume he’s the coffee cream nobody wanted. Light this, grab actual chocolate, and raise your standards. 

Warning

May cause sudden clarity, dramatic eye-rolls, and the uncontrollable urge to say “next” like you’re judging a low-budget dating show. Side effects include higher expectations, lower tolerance, and refusing to nibble on any "mystery fillings" filled with absolute audacity.