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The Desire To Build A Man From Scratch Because The Dating Pool Is Fucking Horrific Candle
The Desire To Build A Man From Scratch Because The Dating Pool Is Fucking Horrific Candle
Regular price
£10.50 GBP
Regular price
Sale price
£10.50 GBP
Taxes included.
Shipping calculated at checkout.
The Desire To Build A Man From Scratch Because The Dating Pool Is Fucking Horrific
Scent: Sticky Toffee Apple
Dating these days? A horror shit-show. Between the red flags, ghosting, and emotionally unavailable man-children, it's no wonder you're eyeing up a thunderstorm and some spare limbs like a DIY project. This candle is for the hopeless romantic who's one bad Hinge date away from going full Frankenstein.
With electrifying notes of soured apple, sticky toffee and a hint of “stitched together standards,” it brings monstrous charm and zero emotional baggage. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for lighting while drafting blueprints for the perfect man - tall, dark and ... silent. (Or at least one that doesn’t mansplain!)
The Desire To Build A Man From Scratch Because The Dating Pool Is Fucking Horrific - Pro Tip
Best enjoyed while muttering “I can fix him… literally.” Lab coat optional, sarcasm required. It’s perfect for long nights in the lab plotting how to replace men with something... functional.
Warning
May spark the urge to yell “IT’S ALIVE” every time a delayed text message arrives. Can cause side effects such as raging independence, unrealistic standards (as they should be) and a renewed appreciation for fictional monsters over real-life ones. Use caution near lightning and emotionally unavailable weirdos.
Coconut + Soy Wax
Coconut + Soy Wax
Our candles are made with a premium blend of coconut and soy wax because paraffin is officially cancelled. We’re not here for toxic fumes, shady ingredients, or any candle red flags — just a cleaner burn, longer life, and vibes that won’t try to assassinate your sinuses
Vegan
Vegan
Plant-based from wick to wax, our candles are vegan because we believe peace, love, and not stealing ingredients from animals is kind of the bare minimum
Cruelty-Free
Cruelty-Free
Cruelty-free and conscience-approved, we don't use any ingredients tested on animals so that you can enjoy your candles totally guilt-free
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